Monday, December 01, 2014

November People's Choice Award

The people have spoken... The November People's Choice Award goes to Karen T. Hartline for her short play, A Real Humdinger, presented as a staged reading at the Monday Night PlayGround "Musical Theatre Night" on November 17 at Berkeley Rep. Congratulations, Karen!

Courtesy of Ms. Hartline, we're pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!


A Real Humdinger
by Karen T. Hartline

Character Breakdown
Jennifer - Female - Age 35-40 - Any Race - A Work-at-home mom
Betty - Female - Age 13 - Any Race - A bratty teen
Stanley - Male - Age 5 - Any Race - A typical little brother
Fred - Male - Age 35-40 - Caucasian - A dapper 1920's gentleman

JENNIFER sits at a computer in a messy living room.
She is on the phone.

JENNIFER
Yes, well, I will shoot you that proposal via emal ASAP, Mr. Sampson.

BETTY enters and slams her backpack down.

JENNIFER
Well, Mr. Samson, I assure you, my clients are my first priority. I’m truly dedicated-

BETTY
School is the worst! Why do you even make me go!

A baby starts crying in the other room.

JENNIFER
Shit. I mean, no sir, I didn’t mean you. I meant, shit I can’t wait to send you my
proposal! Oh shit, I can’t wait! Right away, sir. My number one priority! Okay. Bye.

JENNIFER hangs up.

BETTY
Emily told Brian that I said he’s cute and then Brian said that he would only like me if I…

JENNIFER
Hold on, I’m listening, just let me go get your brother, okay?

JENNIFER exits and reenters carrying a screaming baby.

BETTY
This family is the worst!

JENNIFER
Aw, there we go now little guy... Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the-

BETTY
The teacher gave like 50 thousand pounds of homework again today.

JENNIFER
Okay, I’ll help you get started right after I send this email for work.

STANLEY enters, holding something on his finger.

JENNIFER
Oh goodness, Stanley, you’re up from your nap already. No!

STANLEY
Booger.

JENNIFER
Oh, don’t give it to mommy. Be a big boy and get a tissue.

BETTY
Alexis has an iPad to do all of her homework.

JENNIFER
Go get a tissue for mommy. I already got you an iPhone, you’re not getting an iPad.

STANLEY
Booger.

BETTY
Ugh, so unfair! You’re the worst.

JENNIFER
Stanley, tissue!

Stanley wipes his finger in BETTY’s hair. She screams
and the two start fighting.

JENNIFER
Stop it you two. Betty, let go of your brother. Stanley, don’t hit your sister. I have to
send this email!

FRED enters. He is dressed in 1920s clothing and acts
like a dapper fellow from the period.

FRED
Well if it isn’t my swell family all in one room! Who could ask for anything more, huh?

STANLEY
Booger!

BETTY
You’re the booger, you little-

JENNIFER
I said stop it right now!

FRED
There’s my gal.

JENNIFER
Yeah, hi. Could you help me? Betty’s got tons of homework, I’ve got to send this email...

FRED
Pos-i-lutely, Doll.

FRED makes himself a drink.

JENNIFER
Oh, great, because I’ve had one hell of a-

FRED
But first, let me tell you a real humdinger of a story about my day.The big cheese down
at the office is goofy for this Gal we’ve got working there. He acts like a real sap around
this tomato and her the same. I don’t know what she sees in him. If you ask me, he’s a
real Palooka, if you know what I mean.

JENNIFER
No, I don’t. Babe, could you tell me after I send this email? It’s really important.

FRED
So he comes on over to my desk and tells me - right in front of this dame, he says, “Fred, you’re fired.” And he’s giving this Dumb Dora my position.

JENNIFER
You lost your job?

----

Join us for the next Monday Night PlayGround on Monday, December 15, at Berkeley Rep and choose your own favorite. Click here for more info.

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