November People's Choice Award

The people have spoken... The November People's Choice Award goes to Karen T. Hartline for her short play, A Real Humdinger, presented as a staged reading at the Monday Night PlayGround "Musical Theatre Night" on November 17 at Berkeley Rep. Congratulations, Karen!

Courtesy of Ms. Hartline, we're pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

A Real Humdinger

by Karen T. Hartline

Character Breakdown

Jennifer - Female - Age 35-40 - Any Race - A Work-at-home mom

Betty - Female - Age 13 - Any Race - A bratty teen

Stanley - Male - Age 5 - Any Race - A typical little brother

Fred - Male - Age 35-40 - Caucasian - A dapper 1920's gentleman

JENNIFER sits at a computer in a messy living room.

She is on the phone.

JENNIFER

Yes, well, I will shoot you that proposal via emal ASAP, Mr. Sampson.

BETTY enters and slams her backpack down.

JENNIFER

Well, Mr. Samson, I assure you, my clients are my first priority. I’m truly dedicated-

BETTY

School is the worst! Why do you even make me go!

A baby starts crying in the other room.

JENNIFER

Shit. I mean, no sir, I didn’t mean you. I meant, shit I can’t wait to send you my

proposal! Oh shit, I can’t wait! Right away, sir. My number one priority! Okay. Bye.

JENNIFER hangs up.

BETTY

Emily told Brian that I said he’s cute and then Brian said that he would only like me if I…

JENNIFER

Hold on, I’m listening, just let me go get your brother, okay?

JENNIFER exits and reenters carrying a screaming baby.

BETTY

This family is the worst!

JENNIFER

Aw, there we go now little guy... Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the-

BETTY

The teacher gave like 50 thousand pounds of homework again today.

JENNIFER

Okay, I’ll help you get started right after I send this email for work.

STANLEY enters, holding something on his finger.

JENNIFER

Oh goodness, Stanley, you’re up from your nap already. No!

STANLEY

Booger.

JENNIFER

Oh, don’t give it to mommy. Be a big boy and get a tissue.

BETTY

Alexis has an iPad to do all of her homework.

JENNIFER

Go get a tissue for mommy. I already got you an iPhone, you’re not getting an iPad.

STANLEY

Booger.

BETTY

Ugh, so unfair! You’re the worst.

JENNIFER

Stanley, tissue!

Stanley wipes his finger in BETTY’s hair. She screams

and the two start fighting.

JENNIFER

Stop it you two. Betty, let go of your brother. Stanley, don’t hit your sister. I have to

send this email!

FRED enters. He is dressed in 1920s clothing and acts

like a dapper fellow from the period.

FRED

Well if it isn’t my swell family all in one room! Who could ask for anything more, huh?

STANLEY

Booger!

BETTY

You’re the booger, you little-

JENNIFER

I said stop it right now!

FRED

There’s my gal.

JENNIFER

Yeah, hi. Could you help me? Betty’s got tons of homework, I’ve got to send this email...

FRED

Pos-i-lutely, Doll.

FRED makes himself a drink.

JENNIFER

Oh, great, because I’ve had one hell of a-

FRED

But first, let me tell you a real humdinger of a story about my day.The big cheese down

at the office is goofy for this Gal we’ve got working there. He acts like a real sap around

this tomato and her the same. I don’t know what she sees in him. If you ask me, he’s a

real Palooka, if you know what I mean.

JENNIFER

No, I don’t. Babe, could you tell me after I send this email? It’s really important.

FRED

So he comes on over to my desk and tells me - right in front of this dame, he says, “Fred, you’re fired.” And he’s giving this Dumb Dora my position.

JENNIFER

You lost your job?

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Join us for the next Monday Night PlayGround on Monday, December 15, at Berkeley Rep and choose your own favorite. Click here for more info.