The people have spoken... The November People's Choice Award goes to Ignacio Zulueta for his short play, The Dream of the Founding Mother, presented as a staged reading at Monday Night PlayGround on November 21 as a part of The Mozart Musicals at Berkeley Rep. Congratulations, Iggy!
Courtesy of Mr. Zulueta, we're pleased to share the first two pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!
THE DREAM OF THE FOUNDING MOTHER, or,
THE HARROWING OF HILLARY CLINTON
Book and lyrics by Ignacio Zulueta
Music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
(Serenade No. 13 in G Major, "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik")
ALEXANDRA HAMILTON, black female, secretary of the US Treasury from the alternate 18th century.
HILLARY CLINTON, white female, from exactly now.
VULPINE AMADEA MOZART, from the alternate 18th century. “Vulpine” is pronounced like “Delphine”. Conducts the strings, or pretends to. Has a very silly austrian accent, ja?
Lyrics Note: measures are indicated in parens, before the lyrics that are sung over the notes in those measures. Sing along below to Eine Kleine’s first movement melody, and you’ll get the feel.
(1) Here’s, the words, for (2) measures one and two.
(3) Three, starts here till (4) Four begins anew.
SOUND OF APPLAUSE - NOT HUGE - A SALON SIZED CONCERT.
LIGHTS UP ON ALEXANDRA HAMILTON CLAPPING VIGOROUSLY IN FRONT ROW OF CHAIRS ONSTAGE FOR VULPINE AMADEA MOZART, WHO HAS JUST FINISHED CONDUCTING. HILLARY CLINTON IS PASSED OUT NEXT TO ALEXANDRA.VULPINE HAS A LARGE COCKTAIL GLASS ON HER STAND.
VULPINE: Danke. Danke. Danke mein damen und herren. I, Vulpine Amadea Mozart, will be right back after a briefest intermission. (She drinks from her glass) Nobody touch that. Est verboten!
ALEXANDRA: So… Not a Mozart fan, are you? (as Hillary stirs) These viennese political salons can be a real wringer.
HILLARY : Malia? Where’s your father?
HILLARY: Barack. Malia, It’s me, Hillary.
ALEXANDRA: Well, Hillary, my name is Alexandra. (shakes hand) Pleasure to meet you.
HILLARY: Was I dreaming?
ALEXANDRA: I daresay you were. Did you go and smoke any of Thomasina Jefferson’s ‘special Virginia tobacco’?
HILLARY: Thomasina who?
ALEXANDRA: Jefferson, duh. Postmistress, slave owner, hemp fiend, and ambassador to France. One of my countless frenemies in Washington’s new govern-.
HILLARY: Thomasina Jefferson? Who are you?
ALEXANDRA: Alexandra Hamilton. Secretary of the U.S. Treasury.
HILLARY: Wait. Alexander Hamilton?
ALEXANDRA: AlexandrA. You know. (rapped)
The female bastard, orphan, born of a whore
And a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in
the Carribean with providence empowered like a
baller, whose face doth grace the space on the ten dollar...?
(new rhythm) ...Bills, yeah, (in tune) I’m Alexandra Hamilton (beat.) That’s right I’m Alexandra Hamil... (spoken.) Girl you’re killing me here. Do you know who I am?
HILLARY: You’re one of the leading proponents of the Electoral College.
ALEXANDRA: Leading? Pssh, The leader! The electoral college will be my proudest work to date - or will be. Touch wood. So, Hillary, what brings you to Vienna?
HILL: I think I’ve come from an alternate future timeline.
ALEX: Alternate future what-now?
HILL: An alternate future of democracy imperiled. Unless… I can prevent it from coming to pass.
ALEX: Uh. How, exactly?
(Hillary starts to choke Alex. The struggle winds up near the music stand)
ALEX: But... why?
HILLARY: He must be stopped! You can’t create the electoral college! It has to be a popular vote!
ALEX: Bitch, please!
She throws Mozart’s glass into Hillary’s eyes.
HILL: Ahhh god! It burns! What the hell was that?
ALEX: Vulpine Amadea Mozart’s favorite whiskey brandy campari absinthe cocktail. (sips the dregs) It’s called The Marriage of Lickaro. Now, are you going to behave, or am I going to have to find the rest of the liquor cabinet? (Hillary assents) Okay then. Real talk. What could have possibly driven you to want to murder a total stranger?
HILL: I just lost the U.S. Presidential Election.
ALEX: Oh, Damn, Girl. Girl. Girrrl. Frenemy girl. I feel you on this. (beat)
But you can’t just go around strangling people from alternate timelines.
HILL: But why not?
ALEX: That’s not how physics or ethics actually works.
HILL: No, seriously. If you had a chance to prevent the rise of Ginger Hitler, wouldn’t you not be throwing away your shot?
Join us for the next Monday Night PlayGround on Monday, December 19, at Berkeley Rep and choose your own favorite. Click here for more info.